Category Archives: Clothing Optional

Even Porn is Green Now

Nature is dirty.  Not in the rugged, outdoorsy way, but in the animals humping each other way. If you’re the type who DVRs nature shows and then fast forwards to the mating scenes (no judgments), the Sundance Channel has a better option for you – Green Porno.

This season (#2) focuses on sexy creatures under the sea, including the female whale who wants to see the boys fight over her, the hermaphrodite limpet who lines up to take its turn being the bottom, and the hideous anglerfish who does it with her light on and treats her little man like he’s a portable sperm bank.  Kinky, I know.

And who better to perform these animal sex acts than the lovely Isabella Rossellini.  She dons all manner of ridiculous costumes to educate us in the ways of seduction… animal seduction.  My favorite is the whale costume:

Whale Suit

If you think that’s hot, wait until she turns around (watch the video for her… um… Moby Dick).

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Babes in Manland

Objectifying women is bad.  Objectifying men?  Well, a little payback can’t hurt.  Babe City Babes is a site devoted to photos of hot guys just being… well… hot.  I mean really, how can you resist a site with a naked Burt Reynolds sprawled out on a bear skin rug tiled across the background? And really, it’s all in the name of research:

The man babe is a very complex and fascinating creature. From ongoing and intensive ethnographic research on the species, we present to you a compendium of our detailed studies and stunning findings.

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Naked If He Wants To

What?!  Dolls can’t be anatomically correct?

This guy sits in my living room making male guests (and my husband) a little uneasy.  I love it.  His name is Ayelu and he’s an artist.  He just works better in the nude.

If you want one, check out the Psarokokalo shop on Etsy (I have no idea how to pronounce it either – it’s Greek).  She’s only got one or two in her shop now, but I’m sure you can put in a special request.

(Yes, there seems to be a trend going on here lately.  Don’t worry, I promise that not all of my posts will involve nudity.)

Naughty Bits

Man in Suit

Just like those old glasses from the ’70s where the clothes come off when filled with a cold drink.

(Warning: If your boss is not cool with naked people on your computer screen, you might want to save this for later.)

[via Smitten]

Sex for Nerds

I know you can monitor your eating habits, your expenses, and your stocks online, but do you really need to keep tabs on your sex life?

Apparently the folks over at Bedpost think you do.  They help you keep track of when, with whom, and how long it all lasted (interestingly, they ask for “start time”, but not end time – just “How long did it last”.  Perhaps estimates are gentler on the ego than cold, hard numbers).  You can even rate the experience by checking off stars like you’re rating a restaurant.  And the funniest feature – descriptive tags.  I’d really like to see what people put for that – “sweaty”, “disappointing”, “weird”, “earth-shaking”, etc.

The whole thing seems a little sad to me.  I mean, there’s only three reasons I can see people using it:

  1. To brag to your friends – “Hey, check out my sex graph… I’m totally getting laid more than you!”
  2. To point out to your spouse during an argument that he or she isn’t giving it up enough.
  3. You’re such a slut that keeping online records is the only way you can keep all your sex partners straight.

Anyway you look at it, it’s a little pathetic.

Unfortunately for the site’s users though, only quantity is being measured, not quality.  Somehow, I don’t think users who follow Bedpost’s advice and “Simply log in after every time you have sex and fill out a few simple fields” are going to have too many repeat performances.  Forget the cuddling and/or cigarette… you need to whip out the laptop to jot down all the details.

If I haven’t turned you off to the idea and you want to make pie charts and venn diagrams and stuff to illustrate your bedroom adventures (yes, I will judge you), the site’s only beta right now, but you can sign up for an invitation.  In the mean time, you’ll have to just kick it old school with an Excel spreadsheet I guess.  Hot.

[via Apartment Therapy]