If the J. Peterman catalog was sitting in Starbucks, saw the J. Crew catalog sitting at the Starbucks across the street, and got up the courage to walk over there, the end result of their eventual lovemaking would be J. Cruel – a catalog spoof brimming with irony-laced copy that pokes fun at the fashion industry. I only wish the 20 or so catalogs crammed inside my mailbox everyday had writing this good:
“Just because you’re an Aryan monument doesn’t mean you have to stop being a naughty schoolboy.”
“Honeybees buzzed among the rafters. Shake, senora, shake, sang the choir. The bishop was pleased, but no one quite knew why.”
“Take a break from the responsibility of weekly Pilates and the pressure of possessions and relax into a simple life of have not, want not.”
“Just don’t get caught up in an arms race with your best friend. One of you will surely end up dead in Red Square.”
I’ll take one of each in loden. Or blush if it’s on backorder.